The Hidden Loneliness of Perfectionism

Perfectionism doesn’t stay neatly within work hours. It seeps into your evenings, weekends, and relationships. One of its lesser-talked-about consequences is isolation. You may decline invitations, delay phone calls, or avoid social settings—not because you want to be alone, but because you feel like you haven’t “earned” a break.

Perfectionism convinces you that rest is indulgent, that you should be working instead. So while others are enjoying a casual night out, you’re fine-tuning a proposal or catching up on emails. Even when you do attend, your mind might drift to unfinished tasks or imagined mistakes.

This social cost builds up quietly. You may feel disconnected even in a room full of people. You may crave connection but struggle to be present.

The internal message is: you can relax after everything is perfect. But “perfect” never arrives.

EMDR therapy can help rewrite this message. It helps identify and reprocess the beliefs that make productivity feel like your only safe identity. As those beliefs shift, your nervous system begins to relax—and connection, joy, and spontaneity become possible again.

You deserve more than just productivity. Explore how EMDR can help: https://annemoigistherapy.com/.