When Good Enough Never Feels Good Enough: The Hidden Toll of Perfectionism

Perfectionism often wears a disguise. On the surface, it looks like ambition, drive, and a strong work ethic. But underneath, it quietly drains your energy, impacts your relationships, and fuels anxiety. It’s not just about wanting to do well—it’s the persistent, often overwhelming need to do everything flawlessly. Even small tasks become battlegrounds: you spend an hour editing a three-sentence email or repeatedly tweak a presentation slide, afraid someone might spot a minor error.

For high achievers, this kind of perfectionism is often rewarded externally, but internally it’s exhausting. The bar keeps rising, and satisfaction never seems to arrive. It shields you from embarrassment or criticism, yet at the same time, it becomes a source of constant stress.

One of the most common signs of perfectionism is procrastination—not because of laziness, but because of fear. The fear that the final result won’t meet your own impossible standards. The fear that a flaw, even a small one, will lead to judgment or rejection. As deadlines approach, pressure builds, creating a cycle of avoidance and anxiety.

Even more damaging is the way perfectionism ties your self-worth to performance. A single mistake can trigger a spiral of self-criticism, leaving you fixated on perceived failure and blind to all your successes. If you replay errors long after others have moved on or constantly compare yourself to those who seem to achieve with ease, you’re not alone. These patterns are incredibly common—and they are emotionally costly.

EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be a powerful tool to address the anxiety that drives perfectionism. It helps identify and process the early experiences and beliefs that created your internal pressure to be perfect. With the support of EMDR, many clients find that they can begin to let go of rigid standards and start making room for compassion, flexibility, and rest.

If this resonates with you, visit https://annemoigistherapy.com/ to learn more about how EMDR therapy can help.